The Croissan'wich

Well - the cheek of it!  I have just eaten my first ever Croissan'wich from Burger King in an Airport Departure lounge of a US International Airport and I was astounded by the statement on the packaging.

It goes like this:

'This European pastry has been vastly improved with egg, cheese, sausage, bacon and ham.  One more idea made great with hard work and a little something called American ingenuity.'

I have been having a similar snack from Waterloo Station, London for the at least the last 10 years!!  So sorry all of you that put in such hard work into creating this idea - maybe your American ingenuity would be better spent in your financial institutions - oh yes, sorry it is! 

It's Been A While

It's been several months since I last wrote - actually a year to be precise.  I am now in the process of helping my daughter with the biggest day of her life - her wedding.  

Small and fortune come to mind!

She has tried on in the region of 30 dresses and with a quick calculation taking averages into account it would mean she has worn in the region of £100,000 worth of clothes in just 5 hours!

We think we have found the venue - we had to spend around in travel, food and accommodation £800 during the weekend we visited it!!!

She has found the photographer - only £2000!

Notice I am not disclosing the actual wedding cost - it is not for the faint hearted.

Still we are having some fun mother and daughter time - but a trip to Primark would also achieve this.

Worlds Apart!

I expect you've heard of Disney World and there's Cadbury's World, oh, there's also Gullivers World (or maybe its Kingdom - in Matlock).

But have you experienced Internet World!

I have - this week!

My day started with the usual parking of the car and then to the first ride - 'Bloody Chance'. It's what I would call a horror train type of ride - it's the journey between Woking and Waterloo - you don't have a 'bloody chance' of getting a seat.

The second ride 'The Pits' or was it 'Crush' - could have been either. Actually more commonly known as 'the tube' - the ride involves (if you are 5ft 3 like me) having your nose crushed in the 'pits of a rather unattractive male commuter.

And all this before I even get to Internet World!

Like the other 'Worlds' the visitors arrive in drones and head towards the turn styles. We all have our bar coded passes hanging from our necks. We all get zapped on arrival and at all the major attractions. We were well planned with our pre-booked passes ensuring we had fast access in order that we wasted no time - yes, it allowed us to quickly by pass those less organised.

The queue for food and drink was similar to those of other world's but the choice of food less varied - there was no mickey mouse shaped ice cream for one thing.

Our highlights included the do's and don'ts of email marketing, increasing traffic to your website, the making of a luxury brand on the Internet and more far too exciting to share with my readers.

The day was exhausting - there were so many attractions - there was a stand with a roulette table where vouchers for chips were being given to passers by, a stand giving away jelly beans, I was accosted by a man who gave me a ball point pen with four colourways, there was a magician on one stand, a stand giving away some luxury chocolates (I admit I had to visit that stand), in fact I just couldn't walk pass the stand were I had to count how many pens were in a sweet jar - the lucky winner would win a Wii - I don't think it will be me - I guessed 221 and she (the lady on the stand) didn't say anything to me, but the person after me guessed 114 and she (the lady on the stand) said that was a good guess - so that was disappointing - I want a Wii - luckily the toilet wasn't too far from that stand!

When I arrived home I was quite dizzy and my head was buzzing but not because I put myself through any G force of course - it wasn't that sort of world - just all the information and the new knowledge I had acquired and the fact I have so much to do and put into action. Just as well I have a whole year to wait until my next experience of Internet World.

Gourmet Food To Your Door - Wow!

Visit Banquet In a Box
I found this great site top quality gourmet food delivered to you home, office or holiday cottage within 48 hours!! Wow, can't cook, won't cook comes to mind. It's a great site for ordering food to your door from a Romantic Weekends worth to a platter of canapes through to a full three course menu for a stylish dinner party. Prices are extremely good value and the food sumptious. I highly recommend it!

The World Is Going MAD

Well, it is that time of the month - I feel more moody, I become more irritated, I spend more money and I find I need to eat more chocolate. Yes, it's my monthly.

My monthly Board Meeting that is. This month was no exception. How can there be so many demands for money. This months demands I was presented with included:

Two new security lights - quote being established
Two new air conditioning units about £1200 each!
A requirement for a training course £485
Ten new computers!!

So OK I run a business these are all needed to ensure we run smoothly, but my irrational feelings started when I was presented with the following two:

A risk assessment for Legionella (cost between £550 - £1125). Now I appreciate Legionnaire's is very serious and as a Director I have a legal responsibility to ensure my staff are not at risk of this. That is why for the last six years since we moved to my current offices we have been paying for Legionnaire's treatment twice per week. A man in uniform comes in, goes to the water tower, checks the water, writes up his report, sends us an invoice. So why suddenly do I need a risk assessment by the same man in uniform that has been doing the treatment for the last six years! Surely the point of a risk assessment is to identify if treatment is required. We identified this and therefore take twice weekly action. Why then, do we now need to pay £550 + for a risk assessment?

The next request was the final straw. It was to spend £15!

I could not believe the reason.

"We have to do it by July 1st" I was told

"We only need to buy one" I am told, when my face gives away my utter amazement.

"But, why oh why do we need one at all" I ask

Meanwhile your asking - what was the request

A No Smoking sign of course. The ban comes in on July 1st, remember?

But why do we need this sign?

Firstly, our office is and has always been no smoking.

Secondly, all our staff have read and agreed to the terms in our Employee Handbook stating the office is no smoking

Thirdly, in thirteen years of business I have never had one person attempt to 'light up' in our office

So again, why just because on July 1st a smoking ban is coming in do we need to put up a no smoking sign! Surely now the ban is coming in and it will be public knowledge by everyone in England that it will be an punishable offense to smoke in the work place, that actually a no smoking sign in an office, where no one has ever smoked, is completely unnecessary.

On another point if we have too put up this sign - why in heavens name do we need to spend £15. Hasn't any one heard of a computer, A4 paper and a printer!! Oh, that's right we are only buying 10 new computers, perhaps the other 60 aren't good enough.

A Family Easter

I expect in Britain yesterday many families joined together around the dining room table to experience the Easter Lunch. Rather like the Christmas Lunch but without the trimmings (and chaos of presents), the Easter Lunch brings together the same group, perhaps for the first time since Christmas.

There were the 13 of us on Christmas Day and the same 13 gathered together yesterday rather like the last supper - that's if you count the three Gun Dogs! In our case all generations gathered together with one objective - to tuck into a rather tasty roast.

There was the two little ones with their tiny portions - a meagre roast potato, a tiny slice of lamb and a large squirt of ketchup. There was the elderly one, now a little confused, struggling with her 'bad' bit of the lamb which she couldn't cut let alone chew. There were the young twenty somethings unable to wait, finishing their platefuls before all have been served. And there's us the forty somethings playing the perfect hosts - more wine? Would you like gravy with that? More potatoes? Oh it's no trouble - our pleasure.

I expect too, we weren't the only family to have the elderly one, now a little confused, create a little havoc, while the young ones played quietly in their own world of make believe.

"I have a couple of children's Cd's I kept from the Mail - remind me to give them to you when you drop me home" the elderly one says to my sister.

The Cd's or DVDs as the majority of us call them, are for the little ones, aged 7 and 8, and when we ask we discover that the 'children's Cd's' are actually the first series of The Darling Buds of May and of some other 'CD' that can not be remembered. Not wholly children's but they may enjoy it - Pa and Ma Larkin a dear couple.

About an hour later -

"Did I give you the Cd's?"

"No, you were going to give them to us when we drop you home" my sister answers

"I had the Cd's with me, I put them on one side to bring - you know the smoked salmon - where did you put that" she turns to me

"In the fridge" I answered

"I'll have a look, maybe there with the smoked salmon"

So she gets up and proceeds to look.

"That's the freezer" I point out. As it turns out the Cd's (I mean DVDs - she's got me at it) aren't in the fridge either. Well that's a surprise.

I am yet to find out if the DVDs turned up, put to one-side in her house and what the title of the other one was - I seem to remember that recent giveaways from the Mail include the classic children's favourite Dr Zhivago and Only Fools and Horses!

Ants - The Perfect Pet

This week I have had fun and games trying to sort out an image of one of our products. The perfect pet - no mess, no feeding, but none the less it is a pet - the common garden ANT. The photo I need has to be 300 dpi and do I have any photos in this size - NO! Why so important, you ask, the problem is if I can not supply the national paper this exact format, they can not publish a review about it.

So whats the photo of? The Forest Antquarium ofcourse - that well known household pet accessory that everyone is just dying to have!! Well, I have been backwards and forwards to my supplier over the last two days and have downloaded numerous photos of ants. Ants in this 'natural' habitat foraging amongst some greenery and burrowing through a rather unnatural blue gel and I am anted out. No picture is right - none are suitable for publishing.

The funny thing is that this is not really a product that I am that partial to, but many people find ants fascinating, and sometimes one has to choose products that aren't always about what I would have in my house.

Any way back to the antics (sorry!) the outcome is, we have given up on their photos, the supplier is going to send me an Antquarium and I'm going to do the photograph. (actually my daughter will do the photography)

"I'll send you a pack of ants as well" he said in a rather matter of fact manner.

I thought they came as seeds with it (oh thats the vegetation - I meant eggs) - no, in fact you send off for these live critters once you have your antquarium (minus the ants) so not really an antquarium more a quarium.

"The ants are alive when you send them to me in the post!!" I gasped

"You'll have fun" he said mockingly.

So next week I will be growing my 'quarium and apparantly the vegetation will germinate overnight and within a week become quite substantial. I will have to add my live ants and then I will need to wait with baited breath for the burrowing through the blue gel in order there are some neat little tunnels. And then 'click' - I can photograph it so that I can provide the newspaper with a 300 dpi image.

The things I do for a little bit of PR.